::A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages::: Still not dead<br><br>

::A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages::

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Still not dead

Its damn unfair. Today's a saturday and i came back in the afternoon and i've got to book in tomorrow evening.
Oh? So we only got 1 pathetic day off for the whole of 1 week - which is 7 days?
Seriously man, this shitty schedule has got to stop. Now that ive officially oot-ed, its bloody unfair to us, the oots, because we're held back doing nothing. I mean, i understand if there's training. But there's no training for us what. What's really the point in keeping us for one more day?

Anyway, since i've oot-ed, i have more free time. Besides handling the daily mundane, redundant "chores" of setting up water points and ice-bags and whats-not. So i brought my psp and "5 People You Meet in Heaven" to camp. The psp with just a single battery if you use sparsely, i realise is not enough. I think i need to get another battery, since there are rules against bringing chargers into camp. I'd have smuggled chargers, if they hadn't threatened us with confinement for every single rules and regulations they created. Oh well.
The book was damn nice, i didnt manage to finish it the other time. Its ... meaningful. Sad, and it really made me think. What if heaven was not a paradise, but simply just a place where 5 people, whose lives you have drastically changed, explained to you the reason for your earthly being?
And this author - Mitch Albom, wrote the other more famous book, "Tuesdays with Morrie". I think i will go and get it. This is also about death, or dying, so its kinda interesting la, IMO. Emotional wreck.

Its true y'know, NS really changes you. You really treasure your family, freedom a lot more. For some reason, i feel more and more detached from the life i lead outside NS. Its consistent with every book-out. The first 2 weeks i was miserable, but now im like ... settling down? I actually am adapting to the isolation, away from the people i care for the most. Seriously, this is scary y'know. More than half a week is spent with my bunkmates, i think i'm used to getting on my own, being on my own. A month ago i'd imagined myself falling deeper and deeper in love, as "distance makes the heart grow fonder". But now i just feel like i'm not even trying to make things better, always screwing up and making our dates intolerable.

Baby dear, we're 3 months shy of our 2nd year. How fast time flies! I hate myself for feeling this way, but the distance that makes our hearts grow fonder, could also make us drift apart. Hopefully not, and i do miss you so much. :(

Live high Live mightly Live righteously
Posted @11:16 PM

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