::A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages::: The endless cycle

::A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages::

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The endless cycle

We have such wonderful times together. Then comes the time when we quarrel. The cruel cycle goes on.
Sometimes i wish i would just shut the hell up. A moment of impulse, and i'd just blurt out the nastiest stuff i dont even mean. And the next moment i'd feel so horrible, and miserable at my pity self for saying all the wrong things.
And then comes the apologies. I understand, sometimes its just too late, too wrong.
How have i become such a bitter person? As if every quarrel we have is a battle, and i fight like hell to win. Im so sick of myself.
I wish i could be like you, just take it all in. Suppress all the anger, swallow down the pride. Just to smile back, not cynically, but actually mean it. These little gestures of love have not gone unnoticed.

I told you that i am too dependent on you. The truth is, i'd rather keep everything the way it is now, and not change a thing. To see you a lot, miss you a lot, love you a lot.

So tonight i sleep alone, cold and lonely, away from the warmth of your body. No hugs, cuddles, or kisses to comfort me. The consequence i now have to deal with, another cold and lonely night alone.

Im so sorry for all the things i dont mean to say.

Live high Live mightly Live righteously
Posted @1:27 AM

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